Tuesday, 15 May 2018

Mental Heath Awareness Week



This is an extra post just because it's mental health awareness week. I just wanted to make you all aware that you are never alone. There is always someone to talk to if you think your struggling with mental health. There is your parents, your family, your friends, if you don't feel up to speaking to them please seek professional help and go see your doctor or a therapist, they are professionals who get paid to listen to you if you feel you just need some ears to listen. You can contact me, if you feel you want to talk to me, you can message me through my Instagram or twitter or privately and anonymously email me  geekygirlonline@outlook.com I promise I will listen and help if I can. There are help lines that can listen like the samartians. 

Please know you are never alone and there is always someone to listen and help. If you suffer with mental health or you are just having a bad day and need to talk please know someone is always there to listen. 

Please seek help and never suffer in silence. 
Stay Strong 

Love GeekyGirlOnline xxxx

Monday, 2 April 2018

It's okay to delete bad friends.

Hello little geeks! 

  Recently I have been thinking about old friends who I cut out of my life for good reasons and I thought I would share my thoughts and experiences with this in case any of you are going similar things to tell you that if you have a bad friend in your life who doesn't treat you right or care about you then it is okay just get rid of them and cut them out your life.

Let me tell you a story. 

Once upon a time, there was a girl I knew,  who claimed to be my best friend through out high school. I knew this girl for 8 years until I realised what a bad friend she was even after being warned about what a bad friend she was from a few different people, I should of listened. 

For the sake of this story lets call this girl Emily, not her real name just for this. I first met Emily at a school event in Year 6, I did not attend this school at this point my older sister did and I was too young to be left at home without an adult so I came along with my sister and parents. I met her while eating a hot dog and watching a really bad clown act that the school had arranged for. Once introduced to each other we decided to go outside away from the terribly bad clown for to introduce me to some of her friends who later became my class mates when I joined the school in year 7. 
This night become a memorable  night that we laughed about for years. 

Through out high school she was a good friend and I never thought anything was bad, she was the only friend I really talked to in high school, I know I wasn't very popular, keep to myself in small private school, our class/year group was 20 people, 15 girls, 5 boys. I know our school was tiny, it was from ages 3-16 and had 200 pupils altogether!!!
Anyway throughout high school, we were good friends, I considered her to be my best friend and looking back I don't think there were many issues with her in high school other then we never got to hang out much outside of high school but for private school that pretty normal. There was a rivalry between me and a girl lets call her Katie, not her real name, and she was always very attention seeking, jealous person. She was always jealous of my friendship with Emily as we were very close, any chance she got to show her jealously and be mean to me, or tease me, knock books out of my hands, knock my stuff off my desk, take Emily away from me she did, but to the rest of the class and my teachers she was a perfect! (pauses to throw up)
Anyway, the only bad incident I can remember with Emily in high school involves Katie. One incident in particular, we were in year 8/9 (aged 13) and we had all just got facebook. Emily had only just got facebook alot later then the class as her mum was strict about technology and social media. It was Friday night and Emily and Katie were having a sleepover. My phone rings late that night and it was emily saying the sleepover was off they had an argument. This was a lie. The phone kept ringing until I unplugged the house phone as it was really late and me and my parents were trying to sleep.
The next morning I wake up to facebook messages from Emily and she was saying she was upset about the sleepover not happening and  she was angry and upset at katie because they had am argument, did I think Katie's hair was stupid and curly and random stuff that wasn't very nice like that. I believed it was Emily behind the screen and she upset so I went along with what she was saying even though I knew it wasn't nice. The messages stop and I carry on my weekend and go to school on monday thinking everything was fine. We get called into the head teachers office, which when your a shy 13 year old is terrifying. Turns out it was not emily behind the facebook messages it was actually Katie writing the messages with Emily next to her trying to see what I thought of Katie. Long story short we get told off by the headteacher, who terrifying enough without the lecture and Emily is banned from facebook and grounded by her mum for a while and they both a detention.

Be careful when talking to people online, you don;t know who it actually is behind the screen!

We leave high school and we promised we keep in touch and stay friends, like many people in my class promised to me on leaver's day, sorry if your in high school and about to leave friends, if you say this hate to break it to you but it wont happen you will all being to different colleges and make new friends and will forget about this friends, sorry this will happen, but good luck if you want to try keeping in touch. 
Back to me and Emily, we lost touch for a while and after a year we got back in touch and we hang out a little bit had a couple of sleepovers. She recommended at look at her college as I was coming towards the end of my second year and hated this college but  I had to do two more years (my first two college years were getting my GCSE English typically people do 2 years at college but I will have done 4!) She had to do another year and said "well I be there so you wont be lonely like your last college and we have lunch together and hang out all time" these were false promises. 
I looked into her college and quite liked it, far distance to travel but ended up going there (now towards th end of my college life and going to uni in September!) 
I didn't see much of her, or anytime I saw her, I had to organise it, she never offered to come meet for lunch or anything, and if I did see her I would have to meet her friends who I didn't know and felt uncomfortable around, which was a big deal for me with anxiety she knew about my anxiety and never offered to help or just have lunch with her. It wasn't like meeting was hard! We went to the same college and pretty similar schedules and lunch breaks and massive free periods! She never made any time for me.

I should mention as another thing, the summer time before I came to this college, it was our 18th birthdays, and the week of her birthday I lost my grandad to a heart attack but I still went to her birthday party and put on happy face. I had previously spent lot of time and money (I know money isnt everything but it's still important) on her birthday present. I still went to her birthday even though anxiety wise I was feeling awful, because I was going to her party were I didn't know any of the friends she invited, and with the loss of my grandad I was going through a lot. (side note my mum drove me an hour there and an hour back late on a saturday night, we live far apart and couldnt of gone without her driving me around , thanks mum ) Lets just say with anxiety, my grandad, I was going through alot but it was her 18th, so I made an effort to put on a happy face. 
My 18th about a month later, from my best friend at the time, I got nothing not even a text, not that money or present is important but I didn't get anything not even a card or lousy happy birthday text. I spent alot of money and time sorting her present out, I emotionally went through alot to put a happy face on and I got  nothing in return, and it was 18th, big year, she didn't care, she didn't give me a thought, it takes two send to send "happy birthday" in a text. 

This was when I started to notice things were going bad. My best friend, warned me and was telling me to cut my ties with Emily and ditch her now, before I get too hurt, I wish I didn't just dismiss this and listened to her.

A few months pass, a new year starts and nothing really changes, she never made time for me and never tries to care about me, just only thinks about her. It's coming up to the end of year 1 in this college and she will be leaving for a job offer soon, and this is where things turned sour.

She was planning on a little leaving party for her before she leaves for the job as it's in a different country. Me and her friend decided we would help plan it and come with ideas and organise this leaving party. We were talking through social media and planing. 

Turns out I was helping plan something I wasn't even invited to! How horrible, allowing me to help plan a party that I wasn't even allowed to go to! She didn't even tell me this herself, she had to message me through her friend!! she was such a coward, she couldn't even come talk to me (I know time is hard but we went to the same college still and both had break time and lunch at the same time!) I noticed everything was adding up to the fact she was a very bad friend who was too busy being selfish to care about me or my feelings.

We had a conversation at college one day, she found me by the printer in the middle of class, not the best time or place for a conversation about your friendship especially when your tutor walks by and sees you slightly upset.

We message back and forth lots and we both agree it's best to end the friendship, I was so done with her and needed to cut her out my life. I need to thank my best friend Jane (not her real name but she know who she is) who helped me write lots of messages and helped me deal with the situation.I don't think I would of manged the situation on my own if it was for her, so thank you, love you lots!!!!


I then cut Emily out my life, which was the best thing I could of done, it did hurt alot and I am still only just over it, as she was my friend for 8 yeas so it hurts. I wrote her a letter of everything I wanted to shout at her, and ripped it up and burnt it, I recommend doing this it bring you closure. I blocked and deleted he from social media and my phone, so I had no means of her being in my life any more. She is gone and my life is better now, and I friends and best friends who love and appreciate me for just being my weird self! I love these friends!


To cut this very long rambly blog post short, (thank you if you made it this far and are still reading!) It is okay to delete bad friends. I you believe a friend isn't a good friend, and doesn't doesnt care about your or your feelings, its completely fine to get rid off them!

steps to do this:

1. USE YOUR WORDS

Talk to them, whether physically, or texting which ever is more comfortable, talk to them and ask whats going on and if they still want to be your friend and tell them how they are being a bad friend.

if they listen, apologize, and you agree to give them another chance great! good luck! dont give them too many chances if they dont change.

if not:

STEP 2

say goodbye and delete them from your life.

cut any ties with them, block them on social media, delete their phone number and any messages

STEP 3

Find good kind honest friends who love you for being your weird and awesome self! I promise you good friends exist!

I hope this blog post encourages you to to get rid of bad friends or gives you the courage to speak to your bad friend about the reasons they're a bad friend and for you to use your words! Its okay to delete a bad friend!

If you need any advice or your unsure whether your friend is bad and want to talk about I am available, comment below or dm me on twitter @geekygirlonline
and I help anyway I can even if you just want someone to rant to about your bad friend.

Thanks for reading
remember you always have a friend in me!

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love you all

GeekyGirlOnline going offline xxxx